Before I begin my soliloquy, let’s set the mood with the following definitions of punctuality, as explained by myself and my lovely wife.
Definition per Jenny:
The act of being present directly prior to departure or an event starting. May or may not include airport shopping, applying mascara or grabbing a last minute coffee as long as you are there prior to departure you are punctual.
Definition per Daniel:
Proper planning to prevent frantic and chaotic events such as last minute application of make up, packing of suitcase, photography, etc. in order to prevent sprinting to every destination seconds before the deadline. This includes not having to be nagged relentlessly by significant other in order to make said deadline.
Fade in… I am sitting at the airport gate for departure from Copenhagen, Denmark to Bergen, Norway. Ten minutes before the plane is scheduled to start boarding, Jenny decided to use the bathroom and buy postcards. She claims she would be right back but in my experience, right back has a time frame from 1 to 180 minutes.
The moment she left I accepted the reality that there was an overwhelming probability that we would not be boarding this flight. Sure enough 10 minutes went by and no sign of Jenny. I hear over head the boarding call for our flight. Not many things stress me out or give me anxiety but traveling with this woman is about as stressful as unexplained chest pain radiating down my left arm.
Fast forward
Half the people have boarded the plane. No sign of Jenny. My initial thought was to go find her but carrying two fifty pound back packs (12 pounds of which is my stuff) aimlessly around this massive airport honestly would have made me look completely foolish. Picture me carrying two back packs with a cast on my broken hand, mindlessly shouting Jenny’s name. I can picture the looks from the passengers in the terminal now.
My next option which sounded pretty good at the time, was to board the plane without her. In my head it sounded like a great life lesson for Jenny. Until I woke up back to reality and realized the severe repercussions that would surely be heading my way. All I can say is that if I would’ve gone through with this plan, I thank the big man upstairs that I do not have an international data plan on my phone. Of course over the next five days of solitude I would have to completely change my identity and enroll in the witness protection program. That sounded like too much work though.
Two thirds of the plane has boarded. Any one within twenty feet of me can see the perspiration pouring down my face. I have no doubt that the utter panic on my face coupled with the sweat made everyone around me extremely uncomfortable. At this point I made my decision, if Jenny is not back in 5 minutes I am boarding the plane without her. As stated before, I was fully aware of the grave danger I was putting my life in with this decision. Now reading this you may have your doubts about the validity of this story, but anyone who knows either myself or Jenny knows that this is just another Tuesday afternoon for us.
Just like a Hollywood script, less than one minute remaining until I board the plane without her and effectively ending my life, guess who strolls up? Now you would think seeing me standing all alone with a panicked look on my face would provide some inkling of urgency. Well you obviously don’t know Jenny. The best part…we don’t even know our seat assignment on the flight because our electronic boarding pass says n/a. After all that stress and worry, we successfully boarded the plane. Sure enough we were just about the last two people to sit down. I love this woman with all my heart, but every travel adventure leaves me with a little less hair on my already balding dome.
Every day is a blessing but Lord baby Jesus grant me strength,
Daniel
(We spent a lot of time waiting for ferries, planes and buses. The picture above was one of our favorites of us waiting this trip.)
